One kid is currently writing on the wall…with a sharpie. Another kid is annoyingly humming instead of completing his math assignment.
And the big kids, who are supposed to be working, are fighting and ready to knock each other out.
“The kids are driving me NUTS!” Sound familiar?
You aren’t the only one struggling with this!
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Have you PRAYED about it more than you complain about it?
Or did you just run to google for answers?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m here to help. But the greatest help I can offer is to direct you to The Helper – Allah AWJ.
I’m saying this to myself as I say this to you – When we understand the value of turning to Allah AWJ, being pleased with Allah AWJ, working for Allah’s AWJ Pleasure – Allah AWJ will give us bliss here but in the hereafter, inshAllah.
Determine The WHY
Get to the root of the problem to find out why your children are driving you nuts. In this blog post, I’m sharing seven common reasons as well as solutions.
Reason 1 – Being cooped up
This especially tends to be the case during the colder months.
Solution
Cold or not, get outdoors more often. Pro tip – Have your kids race or run laps and they’ll nap better. 😉
Reason 2 – Unfair expectations
You don’t expect yourself to be perfect, so why expect it from your kids?
Your children aren’t going to become someone great. They are already great right now.
I also find that this can stem from the trap of comparison. Little Johnny down the street is only three and reading books on a sixth grade reading level, bla bla.
Solution
First, stop comparing your kids to others.
The second solution is to know your vision for education. Stop trying to be a perfect homeschooler. It doesn’t exist.
Stop trying to teach your child everything there is to know. It’s not going to happen.
Your main goal, as a Muslim homeschooling mom, is that your child knows and worships Allah AWJ, and so that makes it easy to choose resources and prioritize on a daily basis.
Reason 3 – You (all) need a BREAK
If your kids are lacking interest or being oppositional, they may be burned out and just need a little break for creativity and calm.
Solution
Pre-schedule breaks in your yearly schedule, if you haven’t done so already.
Reason 4 – YOU need a break, AWAY from the kids
When was the last time you went anywhere without the kids?
Solution
Pre-schedule breaks for yourself in your yearly schedule, if you haven’t done so already.
If you don’t have a babysitter, look into hiring a mother’s helper. A mother’s helper plays with your kids while you take care of certain chores or take a nap.
No, it’s not the same as babysitting, but it’s one step closer to finding someone you trust to babysit your kids. She’ll get to know you and your family’s standards and how you like to parent and do things.
Then one day you’ll trust her to babysit, inshAllah!
Reason 5 – You’re ALWAYS on your phone
Ah, this one again. 😉
Observe your child’s behavior and you will see a pattern – they act up when mama doom scrolls on social media. Patterns don’t lie!
“But Eaman, it’s just phone manners! I taught them to stay quiet while I’m on the phone.”
Who do you think you’re playing!? Your child knows you’re not a phone call! Your eyes are glued to a screen with your hands doing the <scroll> motion.
Your child can see right through you!
On a more serious note – If you’re always on your phone everyday, this is a form of neglect. Your kids need to feel connected to you.
If you’re always behind a screen, they aren’t seeing your eyes. They aren’t feeling that deep connection.
Solution
Social media ruins relationships. You need to quit.
Reason 6 – Attitudes
I’ll be the first one to admit – constantly dealing with bad attitudes in my kids can drive me up a wall! 😵💫 Any seasoned mother can relate to when they push your buttons just to push it.
That kid that gets into your central nervous system. When they make you say “Ya Rabb!” “Dear, Lord! Please Help me!” 🙂
Solution
I want you to first ignore the actions that are just “annoying.”
Next, promptly address bad attitude problems. Make sure you have established consequences and that you are consistently and swiftly applying them.
Lastly, we can’t control others but we can control ourselves. Stay calm and make dua.
Reason 7- YOUR Attitude
Kids feed off of our energy. What happens if it’s always negative energy that we’re giving off?
Solution
Positivity breeds positivity. Laugh a little.
Play around. Make jokes.
Even when the world is giving you a massive heartache, don’t let it steal your joy. Allah AWJ is in control.
Be the example and show your kids how to survive in a world gone mad. They are watching what you do, not listening to what you say.
Finally, set the tone for your environment by playing Quran.
The Outlier
Aside from common reasons, I want to mention an outlier. If you have a child with serious behavioral issues, seek help.
If you seek help and behavioral issues are still affecting your child’s education, then it is time to look into other educational options. There is that child that unfortunately, never does the work, day in and day out, and yet will straighten up when a stranger tells them to do the work.
This is when homeschooling isn’t an option for them anymore. No, this isn’t a green light to put your child into public school.
I want you to try a private school or private tutoring.
The last thing you need to know about why your kids are driving you nuts
Lastly, remember that kids will be kids.
Squabbles, fights, attitudes, etc. come with parenting regardless of educational choices.
Try the tips above and most importantly, pray about it.
Helpful Links
New to homeschooling? Read the Beginner’s Guide to Homeschooling for Muslim Families.