by Eaman Elhadri
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-Bismillah-
“Hey Sister Eaman, why do you homeschool?”
I get this question a lot, and people tell me that they’re used to a response like this – “The teachers and students were so bad at_____ school and we can’t afford private school.”
I tend to change the subject and not reply at all. Why?
Everyone sings their homeschool song to a different tune.
I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to homeschool for the reason that we homeschool, so it’s hard for me to share things like this. Yes, they might homeschool for that very same reason, I get it.
It’s best to understand, however, that everyone has various reasons for homeschooling.
My Homeschool Story
Alhemdulilah and MashAllah, Allahuma Barik, my story has nothing to do with the negative experiences at school because we’ve homeschooled from the beginning.
And, alhemdulilah, my story has nothing to do with a broken public school system or a ‘bad’ private school. MashAllah, Allahuma Barik.
We first decided to homeschool years ago, prior to my eldest turning four.
Alhemdulilah and MashAllah, Allah AWJ has Guided me toward this path with firm conviction.
Homeschooling was a lonely path worth treading
When I first started homeschooling, I felt happy and blessed, mashAllah and alhemdulilah, but there were times that I felt isolated or just plain sad.
I didn’t realize at the time that loneliness was the issue. I remember making dua to just meet one Muslim homeschooling mama who would understand me.
If you’re in the same predicament, we’re here for you! Understand that everything will be OK and Allah (AWJ) hears your call.
“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright”
[al-Baqarah 2:186]
You are not alone and we will support you!
6 Tips to preventing homeschool loneliness
Before we jump into the reason why I homeschool, I’d like to give six tips to help Muslim homeschooling mamas prevent and get rid of homeschool loneliness.
Tip 1 – Accept and embrace being a lone wolf
Being a lone wolf shouldn’t stop you altogether from homeschooling. In the world we live in today, we should get used to being the lone wolf in many predicaments.
Qadar Allah wa mashafil, however, to benefit others, I will state that this is what I wish someone had told me when I first started homeschooling –
It might be a lonely path, but it doesn’t mean that path is wrong.
What is meant for us will come, and if we’re meant to be alone in a certain season of life, then so be it. We must learn to tread this lonely path and be grateful nevertheless. Alhemdulilah.
Alhemdulilah, by Allah’s AWJ Grace and Mercy, in many ways this has been made easier for me because I have always been a lone wolf in many instances in my life.
Being alone on the path of homeschooling didn’t affect me the way it may affect people who are used to being around other people (or on the phone with them) 24/7.
I embraced being a lone wolf and walked my own path when I was very young. Alhemdulilah.
I was born and raised in the U.S. and went to public school from Pre-K…till the end! My school’s population was all non-Muslims and predominately white American.
Alhemdulilah a8la kulee hal, I remember feeling different, outcast, and being rejected by others. This may not have been the experience of every Muslim growing up in the U.S., but it was definitely mine.
And boy did it hurt. It burned even. I can feel the burn as I type this.
But as time passed, Alhemdulilah, by Allah’s Permission and Mercy, I began to develop courage to not care about what others think; courage to be myself.
I wouldn’t recommend public school today, with the way the world is now, just as I wouldn’t have recommended it in the past, but I’ve accepted my decree, Alhemdulilah Rabil A8lamin.
Tip 2 – Walk your own path, even without a map
Homeschooling comes without a map. This is scary!
When walking your own path, you will find that it is difficult. You don’t have a guide, a map, or many stories of Muslim homeschooling veterans.
You will fall flat on your face. You will feel lost, overwhelmed, and all sorts of feels.
And it will make you stronger. You will develop courage, inshAllah.
Open the doors to this, dear mama.
Tip 3 – Use the compass within
All Praise and Thanks is to The Lord who has sent down Guidance to mankind.
The compass we need for our path is the Quran and the Sunnah. The compass we need for our path is found within -Allah (AWJ) Guides us and we must listen to that guidance.
Pray istikhara every step of the way, and Allah (AWJ) will Guide you inshAllah!
The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Quraan. He said: If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rakahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say:….{istikhaarah dua}…
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaai, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad)
May Allah (AWJ) Guide us all and all the Muslims. Ameen.
Tip 4 – Find your local homeschool tribe
Alhemdulilah, we are here to support you and walk hand in hand with you on this beautiful homeschooling path, but that isn’t enough.
The internet is different than face to face. Sometimes you need to just sit down and have a coffee with another homeschooling mama!
That, and your kiddos need companions as well!
Below are some ways to find your local homeschooling tribe, if you haven’t found them yet!
Attend Dhuhur or Asr Salaat at the masjid
The simplest way to find your local tribe is to go to Dhuhur or Asr salaat at the masjid and pay attention to the children that are present. They’re probably there because they don’t go to public school!
It may take some guts at first, but it’s worth asking if they homeschool. They’ll probably be excited that you reached out and that they finally found you!
We don’t have many Muslim homeschooling families in our area, and this is one way that we finally found Muslims who homeschool! Alhemdulilah!
Google it
Simply google: Muslim homeschool <enter your city/region>
You never know what you’ll find! You can also do a search on social media platforms by asking Muslim homeschooling groups if anyone there homeschools in <city/region>.
This is yet another way that I (finally) found Muslim homeschooling mamas in our area! Alhemdulilah!
Start a Facebook Group for Muslim homeschoolers in your city/region
If you can’t find a Facebook Group of Muslim homeschoolers in your area, start your own!
InshAllah Muslim homeschooling families will be able to find you through a google search! Next thing you know, you’ll be able to set up a time and place to meet in person! InshAllah!
Create flyers
If those steps don’t work, post flyers around your vicinity. Try posting in all of the masajid and Islamic centers.
You can even ask your local library if they’d be willing to allow you to post your flyer on their bulletin boards.
Be sure to protect your privacy by only providing a Google number and/or email that you don’t mind strangers having access to.
This is one way that I’ve actually met Muslim homeschooling parents in the area!
Tip 5 – Reach out, even if you don’t want to
Reach out to Muslim homeschooling mamas even if you don’t want to. Why?
We need one another. We need each other’s support.
We’ll especially need each other’s support when the critic in our head begins talking.
And even if you don’t need it, another sister may need to be supported! Another sister may feel lonely and not have the support of her family and friends.
Be there for her.
Tip 6 – Find good companions for your children
Although you will find comfort and support from us inshAllah, your children aren’t online receiving that same comfort and support!
Your children need good companions that are available for them. Most public school or private school children are busy at school and their schedules are different.
You will need to find good friends for your child so that he feels like someone (besides mama and baba) can relate to him.
This has always been a constant test and trial for us.
May Allah (AWJ) bless us all with righteous companions. And all the Muslims. Ameen.
Why I Homeschool My Kids
You see, the reason for homeschooling and the benefits of homeschooling are different because we didn’t experience or realize the benefits of homeschooling until much later on.
But we knew our why to homeschooling from the door!
And our why is only one!
We homeschool to make time for Quran.
Yes. That’s it. No other reason.
Yet a GRAND reason it is! Alhemdulilah. MashAllah. Does that mean my children have already memorized the entire Quran, and at the age of 5? Uh. No.
It means that we’re trying our best.
May Allah AWJ Bless all of us to be of those who memorize the Quran and practice it. Allahuma Ameen.
The time needed for Quran
I knew that there wasn’t going to be time for Quran if my child went to school with a traditional 8:30-3:30 schedule.
Your reason may be different, and that is real life mama. We all tread a different way, on this beautiful path we call homeschooling.
May Allah AWJ make it easy for you, me, and all of the Muslim homeschooling families. Allahuma Ameen.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the main reason for homeschooling?
This varies widely.
A 2003 statistical analysis report states that –
…After concerns about the environment of other schools, the next highest reasons parents selected as their most important reason for homeschooling were dissatisfaction with academic instruction (17%) and a desire to provide religious instruction (16%).
nces.ed.gov
I’ve found that many parents, from various religions and cultures, will answer this question somewhat along the lines of:
- Homeschooling provides positive and appropriate socialization with peers and adults.
- Homeschooling children are largely free from peer pressure.
- Each child’s education can be tailored to his or her unique interests, pace, and learning style.
- Homeschooling children have time to pursue their special interests and talents.
What are some of the benefits of homeschooling?
The benefits vary from family to family.
Here are some common benefits that homeschooling families of different backgrounds have stated –
- Time for Quran 🙂
- Schooling at home may promote a closer familial relationship – many parents find that they enjoy spending extra time with their kids in homeschool.
- Private school is expensive
- Private school options in the area may not offer the preferred degree of educational quality
What books should I read to find out more about homeschooling?
Here are a few books that I’ve found helpful:
For the Children’s Sake by Susan Shaeffer Macaulay
A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning by Karen Adreola
Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie
Helpful Links
- Watch my LIVE VIDEO chat about why I homeschool plus AMA’s!
- Are you new to homeschooling? Read our Beginner’s Guide to Homeschooling for Muslim Families and watch my LIVE VIDEO of how I can see new Muslim homeschooling mamas from a mile away!
- Read enough about homeschooling and just need a quick guide to jump in? Grab one from our Free Resource Library.
The last thing you need to know about why we homeschool
- Everyone’s homeschooling why is different. Know your why, write it down, and hang it up. 🙂
- The benefits of homeschooling are huge, but there is only one reason why we homeschool! – To make time for Quran! MashAllah, Allahuma Barik. Alhemdulilahi Rabil Alameen.
Home school is the best, to learn many more school is the best
Thanks for reading!